WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize