You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You are the jesus of drinking
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
