i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Pooping to opera.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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