we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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