I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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