like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
