Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
