Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
