He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
