I would go down on you faster than GM stock
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
