This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize