I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
