I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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