It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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