in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
