scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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