I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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