the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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