i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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