we made out on top of his cat.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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