my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
