a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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