McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
