you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
