talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
