i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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