I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
