too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
