What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
