ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
