their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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