Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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