hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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