Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
