I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
