Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
