Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
this hospital has no fireball
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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