we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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