You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
