So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
