I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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