i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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