just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
