So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
