well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
