yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
