Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
