new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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