I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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