guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize