hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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