I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
