You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
