I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
