So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
