This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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