I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize