I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
