He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
