My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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